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you know you are a serb when...

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Autor Poruka

Učlanjen: 26 Sep 2005
Poruke: 4
Lokacija: Grlica

PorukaPoslato: Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:46 pm    Naslov: you know you are a serb when... Odgovori sa citatom

Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikanac
You get a C in history, but can recite every Serbian king, in order,from Czar Dusan
Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees
At your wedding you know only about a third of the people there.
At your wedding you have a minimum of 350 guests.
At your wedding the first song is always "danas majka zeni svoga sina".
All slave have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".
At least one of your friends name is "Dragan".
Even the fat Serb chicks put on the tightest skirt possible.
Your father expects you to study or "hit da books" every waking hour that he's home, and he expects nothing less than an "A".
A cold shiver runs down your spine when your mom threatens by using the word "tata" in a sentence.
There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar.
Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
Your baba swears more than you do.
Before school every morning your parents had to look after the sheep, milk the cows, gather all hay, feed the animals etc..
Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5km uphill both ways. And over rocks.
Your dad starts to swear obsessively whenever he watches CNN.
There's at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to.
Being someone's KUM really has no meaning.
Your dad thinks he knows everything about the world today.
When your walls are crowded with icons of saints
When you are reading this list and you're cracking up
Your mom uses lard instead of Crisco to fry eggs. ..... and tells you it's good for you
When you are hopelessly trying to bring the Serbian community together
The minute Church services are finished you run to the bar in the Church Hall and get plastered
You only go out of town for Serbian Tournaments and Dances
Your parents have a shot of rakija for breakfast
Your mom wears her bra as a bathing suit
Your uncle makes his own wine that is stronger than rakija
You think everything is a conspiracy
Your dad thinks that the phone is bugged
Your mother insists that "promaja" will kill you
Your mother insists that you must eat something with "kasika" at least several times a week
You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup
You live with your mom and dad until you are married
You have a pair of wool slippers that your baba knit
There's a slab of fat in your fridge called "slanina"
Rakija is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage lotion
When you celebrate Christmas and Easter and New Year two weeks after everyone else
At your birthdays everyone is singing "Happy brzday tu u"
When your baba will not accept the fact that you're not hungry
Your Tata complains da ga ledga BOLE!!!
You have a vegetable garden in your backyard consisting of a variety of peppers, onions and tomatoes.
When your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from University
Whenever you went by Baba's house, she offered you supa, sarma, pecenje or kolace and got mad if you didn't eat EVERYTHING.
You are at a zabava and guy's try to pick you up with "Hey baby, what's your slava??"
You have 4 pairs of opanke in your attic, basement, closet...
You are freaked out by 'Babaroga'
All other action stops when you hear the music : "Boze Pravde"
"Everyone is sure that you're Italian or Greek"
You know you're Serbian, when you are a fan of whatever basketball team Vlade Divac is on
You know you're Serbian when your mom has a whole pharmacy in the medicine cabinet.
When your mum calls you "stoka"
When you can always smell garlic on your parents breath and they insist it kills all the bacteria.
Your parents still prefer to buy cassettes instead of CDs.
Your Dad tells you "kad sam ja bio u tvoje godine...."
You go to church 2 times a year... Bozic and Uskrs
When your parents call you "sine" no matter if your a boy or a girl.
When you write on your history exam that Nikola Tesla is the father of electricity not Thomas Edison and you teacher fails you.
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PorukaPoslato: Wed Oct 05, 2005 3:39 am    Naslov: Odgovori sa citatom

"Sine", kad porasteš, kas'će ti se samo. Samo pazi da ne bude dockan.
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PorukaPoslato: Fri Oct 14, 2005 10:55 pm    Naslov: Odgovori sa citatom

A cold shiver runs down your spine when your mom threatens by using the word "tata" in a sentence.
Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
When your tata does a running commentary through a movie and he thinks he knows everything that's going to happen even though he has never seen the movie
When you actually know what it means when Peja Stojakovic holds up three fingers
There is always "pita" on the kitchen counter and multiple pita dough bundles in your freezer at all times
After cooking Pita, you eat it for dinner, breakfast, lunch and dinner
You use the words brat i sestra for your brother and sister and for your
When everyone always turns over their cup after drinking tursku kafu even though they know there is no one to tell them their fortune.
When TATA goes to any professional and says STA ON ZNA, NEMA POJMA
You know you're a Serb when your parents yell "kakva je ta skola" when you cannot complete their tax returns while you're in the third grade.
You live in the adult world but when you go home, you feel like your 9 years old all over again
No matter what the price is your Dad will still say 'kol'ko?,.., ooh, bogati, pa skupo' and 'Nasta trosis pare'
For the first 16 years of your life you think your name is J.... Ti Sunce'
When your parents' friends have no shame to tell you that you gained weight
When you watch a movie and wait to the end to see if there are any jugovic in the credits

Markovic ©
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